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Quit Complaining! Take Steps That Put You In More Control Of Your Life.


By constantly complaining, we achieve nothing. The bible notes that it is better to live in a corner of the roof than in the same house with a contentious woman.

I agree vehemently.

Of the one million, two hundred and seventy-five things that annoy me, nagging is very high on the list. I cannot stand people who make a habit of complaining on end about any and everything.

Start Your Business in 30 Days Even If You Don't Have An Idea
Start Your Business in 30 Days Even If You Don’t Have An Idea

You’ve made your point. Can you just shut it for a moment?!

I wish I could understand what part of some of us makes it necessary to go on and on about a particular issue – especially something that has been spoken about; the culprit and everybody within earshot knows what he/she did wrong.

Why are we still hearing about it?

One of my favourite movies, Crazy, Stupid Love has Steve Carell’scharacter fresh out of a divorce, moaning and groaning in a bar about his wife cheating on him with a co-worker. After several days of that, Ryan Goosling’scharacter had to call him to order. To paraphrase what was said: “Why are you here disturbing and irritating us with your tale of woe? Why don’t you do something about it?”

I hate complaining, mostly because it is pointless and useless. All it does is aggravate the complainer. If there’s a solution to the problem, fix it. Why are you complaining? If there’s no solution, shut up. Why are you complaining?

To borrow one of Nigeria’s many street slangs, who complaining don epp?

I don’t watch television, read the news, neither do I follow happenings. If I know of a recent happening, then the information somehow found its own way to me. I don’t do any of those things for the same reason I do not join conversations about Nigeria. All we ever do is complain.

Don’t get it twisted, we do have a lot to complain about. But what tires me about those conversations is that they have been the same since I can remember. Has there been a time power supply wasn’t an issue? How about corruption? How about bad roads and lack of water? The conversations have remained the same. All we do is talk about the problems. Go to any newsstand, if they’re not talking sports, it’s politics and the situation of the country. We’ve been doing this since forever, yet things are getting worse.

Should that not tell us something?

It’s a lot like bearing a grudge which someone equated to allowing somebody live rent-free inside your head. All it does is upset you and drain your energy, wreck your mood and make you irritated. There’s simply nothing to gain by that. So instead of focusing on the negatives of a situation (which is what complaining does), why not spend that energy actually thinking of a way through it? If at the end of the day there seems to be no way out, you can share with someone else; not complain. Discuss.

In the same vein, as we learn to not complain about things, we must also learn to discourage people who come to complain to us. We don’t have to be mean or rude or insensitive, but we can change the direction of the conversation and help them see the positives of whatever situation they find themselves in. We can show them how to build strength of character, how to learn to be more in control of their space, their lives and not be victims; because that’s where a complaining habit stems from – the idea that we’re helpless against what is happening to us. Therefore, all we can do is complain.

I believe, however, that while we cannot control what happens to us, we can control how we react to it. Two men abuse their wives. One wife complains to her parents and his, her friends and neighbours. The other wife simply moves out of the house and moves on with her life.

Who do you think is the smarter wife?

Look to that example and learn. Take steps that put you in more control of your life, eliminating the need to complain.

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